bbcovet@juno.com

When the idea of homeschooling came to me, I didn’t have any problem convincing my husband that we should try it. I grew up in public school; he spent his early years in public school, but switched to a private Christian school during his middle school years and graduated from a Christian high school. We knew that neither option was flawless; we also knew our highly active children would struggle with traditional schooling, so an attempt at kindergarten home education seemed like a smart idea. Ten years later and now husbandless, I still homeschool, and I still have my ex’s support. However, not everyone who dreams of homeschooling has that kind of support. Some face opposition from spouses, ex-spouses, and/or parents. How should one handle that kind of opposition?

If parents or in-laws are opposing your homeschooling plans, what you do depends on whether you receive financial support from them. If they help pay your bills, and they are against homeschooling, you may have to choose between money and home education. If you are a single mom or dad who has moved in with the parents, you would most likely be obligated to follow their wishes in order to continue living there. Those are the only reasons I can imagine that parents or in-laws could reasonably have a say in your children’s education. You may do some research and present your case for homeschooling to try to change their minds, and pray for God to move in their hearts. However, if your parents or in-laws don’t provide financial support for your family, then a simple "I’m sorry you feel that way, but the Lord has called me to homeschool my children, and He knows best" will do.

If an ex-spouse opposes your plan to homeschool, what you do depends on your divorce papers. My former husband became involved in a wrong relationship, and he recently divorced me to marry the other woman. Perhaps to ease his guilty conscience, he granted me sole custody of our children. I made sure that this was defined as giving me the right to choose the form of education our children received, among other things. It is my understanding that sole custody grants you the right to homeschool if you so desire. With other forms of custody, you and your ex-spouse will have to come to an agreement. If the Lord has called you to homeschool, but your ex-spouse won’t agree, your only option is to pray. God can make a way when there seems to be no way.

If it is your spouse who opposes your plan to homeschool, the worst thing you could do would be to buy school books and do it anyway. This act of disrespect would put a serious rift in your relationship. Certainly the Bible tells us to submit to our husbands, as they are the leaders of our homes. A wife who desires to homeschool needs her husband’s approval. So what can a mother do? First, pray. Pray for her husband to have a change of heart. Pray and ask God to make His will clear to both her husband and her. Be willing to ask God to take away this desire to homeschool if it is not His will for your family.

Beyond prayer, you may talk to your husband and find out what specifically troubles him about homeschooling. Does he think only people with a degree in education should teach his children? Does he doubt your ability or believe you are too disorganized to handle the challenge? Does he fear that the children will miss participating in activities such as sports if they are homeschooled? Does he think traditional schools offer the best opportunities for socializing and making friends? Is he afraid that homeschooling materials and activities will take over his house and cause him to feel left out of his own family? If he can offer specific concerns, then you have the chance to address those concerns. You may have resources that can address those issues – doing an online search is the fastest way to find answers, but of course there are many books and magazines that deal with homeschooling, and you may have a local homeschool support group to turn to for help. If it is facts your husband wants, it is facts that you can give him to support your cause.

In the case of the wish for certified teachers, there are video courses, satellite courses, and online courses which are taught by trained professionals. This knowledge may pique your husband’s interest and give you an opportunity to try homeschooling that way for one year.

If your husband just doesn’t like the idea of homeschooling, all the nagging in the world won’t make him change his mind. Prayer must be your "weapon" of choice. You can believe that if God put the desire to homeschool in your heart, He can and will change your spouse’s heart and turn it toward home education. Your job is to pray and wait, not to leave homeschool literature lying around or to keep bringing up the subject. Meanwhile, if your children are in school, volunteer to help in school as much as possible. If they are little ones still at home, you can do preschool activities with them and enjoy this small amount of homeschooling while you wait for the Lord to move on your behalf.

Rest assured, if God has called you to homeschool, He will make a way for you to do it. As I’ve stated in the past, I’m homeschooling as a single parent. I never would have imagined this was an option. God dropped a job in my lap that has allowed me to stay home with my kids all these years and still pay the bills. We serve an awesome God. With Him, all things are possible. Trust Him.

Happy homeschooling!

Copyright 2007 by Brenda B. Covert